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Tips for Divorcing someone with mental illness in South Carolina

Tips for Navigating a Divorce from Someone with Mental Illness

Ending your marriage is not a decision you will make lightly. When your spouse is suffering from severe mental illness, choosing to move forward with a divorce can unleash a plethora of feelings. In some ways, you may be feeling relieved that you can finally start to move forward with your life. In other ways, you may feel guilty, as though you are betraying your spouse in their greatest time of need. 

However, you must always make decisions that are not only in your best interest but that of your children as well. Sharing your life with someone who has a mental illness is not easy, and if they have become particularly contentious or disruptive, divorce may be the best decision you make for your family. Working with a compassionate Beaufort divorce lawyer from Fender Law Firm could be the best way for you to proceed with your divorce while protecting yourself from being taken advantage of. 

Top Tips for Divorcing Someone Who is Mentally Ill

Divorce involving mental illness can be particularly stressful and sensitive. Not only do you need to look out for yourself and your children, especially as you navigate child custody, but you are also likely concerned about how the divorce will affect your soon-to-be ex. Here are some tips that can help you get through this difficult time in your life:

Educate and Inform Yourself 

If you haven't already, now is a good time to learn more about your spouse’s mental health issues. It is important to understand the symptoms of their condition so you are not caught off guard when their actions and behaviors come up throughout your divorce proceedings. When you know what to expect, you may be able to reduce your own anxiety leading up to mediation sessions, court hearings, or your trial date.

Take Care of Your Safety 

If your spouse's mental illness could put you or your children in jeopardy, you need to keep yourselves safe. If you have not already changed the locks on your home, now may be a good time to do so, particularly if your spouse has shown signs of aggression or violence. You may even need to work with your family law attorney to take out a restraining order against them.

Consider Your Grounds for Divorce

South Carolina is one of a handful of states that allows for fault-based divorces. Although you can file for divorce with no-fault grounds, fault-based divorces give you an edge, particularly when you are seeking alimony or a larger portion of your marital assets, as South Carolina is an equitable distribution state per South Carolina Code Section 20-3-620.

Trust in the Professionals

Consider working with a psychologist, mental health counselor, or therapist. You may want to get your children into therapy as well to help them cope with their emotions, manage stress, and get through these challenging times.

Envision a Brighter Future

Although divorce is not easy, it is important to think about the bright future your family can look forward to. Work with your children to set realistic goals and focus on the excitement of your new tomorrow instead of dwelling on the past.

Protect Your Children

Remain keenly aware of how your child will be affected by their other parent’s mental illness. Not only do you need to keep your children safe physically, but it is important to be aware of how your child's mental health will be affected.

Create a Healthy Lifestyle 

Try to do something by yourself or with your children every day that brings you joy. Start to create a healthy lifestyle by enjoying meals together, taking walks, or even doing something as simple as making your beds when you get up in the morning. If you prioritize healthy living, it will give both you and your children something else to focus on while you navigate the divorce process.

Keep an Eye on Your Spouse’s Mental Health

Just because you and your spouse are divorcing does not mean that you do not care about them anymore. After all, at one point, your spouse was likely the most important person in your life. Although their mental health issues may have driven you to divorce, it is important to remain informed about their condition as it progresses as well. 

Prepare for the Emotional and Mental Impact 

Your spouse's mental health issues may have led to divorce, so you already know how physically and emotionally draining they can be. However, during the divorce process, things may intensify. Be prepared to remain calm wherever possible and avoid engaging in instigatory behavior.

Do Not Be Afraid to Accept Help 

When your friends and family rally around you, do not be afraid to accept their help. Lean on them for emotional support throughout and after the divorce.

Learn About How a Guardian Ad Litem Works

During complex divorce cases, the family courts may find it appropriate to appoint a guardian ad litem per

South Carolina Code Section 63-3-810. If your spouse's mental illness has made it difficult or impossible for them to advocate for their own rights, the guardian ad litem will ensure your spouse's interests are protected.

Hire a Strategic Divorce Lawyer in South Carolina

The legal system is notoriously complex. Divorce involving mental illness raises concerns beyond the simple division of marital property and alimony. With this additional complication, it is almost always in your best interest to work with a skilled family law attorney who can help you protect your rights and cope with your spouse's erratic behavior throughout the divorce process.

Turn to a Reputable and Compassionate South Carolina Divorce Lawyer for Help Today

These are only a few tips that may help you get through one of the most difficult times in your life. The end of your marriage may leave you feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, but hopeful for the future. Now is your opportunity to focus on yourself and your family instead of being held back by your spouse's mental illness and refusal to get the help they need. 

Consult a dedicated South Carolina divorce attorney from Fender Law Firm to discuss your next steps. Fill out our confidential contact form or call us to schedule your initial case evaluation as soon as today.

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Divorce Do's and Don'ts from a Top-Rated South Carolina Divorce Attorney: Winning the Judge's Favor and Protecting Your Future

Navigating the intricate labyrinth of emotions and legal complexities when contemplating a divorce can feel overwhelming and daunting. In such a pivotal moment, seeking clarity and guidance becomes essential to make informed decisions that will shape the course of your life. This blog post acts as a compass in those uncharted waters, offering insightful advice and practical steps to take if you find yourself at the crossroads of considering a divorce. Whether you're grappling with uncertainty or ready to take the next steps, understanding the upcoming process and potential challenges can empower you to embark on this journey with confidence and a clear sense of direction.

PLAY TO YOUR AUDIENCE. 

When it comes to making an impression, focus solely on one person: the judge. Evaluate your actions by considering how the judge will perceive them. If you believe your behavior might offend or irritate the judge, it's best to avoid it. Since self-assessment can be biased, it's crucial to engage a knowledgeable lawyer who understands the judge and possesses sound judgement. 

CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS

Avoid sending text messages, emails, or Facebook posts while feeling angry. Your spouse may exploit them if given the chance. Keep in mind that the judge might come across your enraged text or incriminating social media post. Ensure that whatever you write or say will not offend the judge or be something you'd regret seeing on the front page of the newspaper.

TURN DOWN THE VOLUME. 

Just before a divorce begins, it is common for individuals to experience fear and vulnerability. Consequently, some may resort to making threats or engaging in disruptive behavior. It is crucial to refrain from such actions and avoid responding to them. Instead, if your spouse behaves inappropriately, consider contacting the police or pursuing an order of protection, which can be obtained without filing for divorce. Throughout this challenging period, especially if you have children, strive to maintain a sense of normalcy.

DON'T HIT THE PANIC BUTTON.

Avoid engaging in financial misconduct or attempting to conceal assets. It is probable that your spouse's attorney will discover such actions. Moreover, engaging in such behavior may backfire and result in the judge lacking trust in you. If you have concerns about your spouse's potential financial actions, we urge you to contact us promptly. We can initiate legal measures to safeguard your interests through court orders.

WATCH YOUR BACK. 

While it's important not to be overly suspicious, some individuals may monitor their spouse's movements through GPS or even spy on their computer using spyware. To address this issue, consider changing all your passwords and ensuring that your spouse is not associated with any of your cell phone accounts. If you still have concerns, exercise caution and reach out to us. We can take appropriate action to address this behavior once you have filed a case.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. 

Divorce can be a highly stressful experience, impacting even the strongest individuals. To preserve your emotional well-being during this challenging period, it is important to prioritize self-care. This includes maintaining a balanced diet, ensuring sufficient sleep, engaging in regular exercise, and avoiding excessive alcohol consumption. It may also be beneficial to seek guidance from a clergyman or therapist to gain perspective and support. Remember, this difficult phase will pass. Although you may currently feel overwhelmed and uncertain, your life will gradually improve. It is during the darkest moments that the dawn draws near. Many people not only survive divorce but thrive in their new lives. And so can you!

Consider these tips if you expect a divorce in the near future: 

AVOID NEW FINANCIAL OBLIGATIONS. 

It is advisable to refrain from making significant purchases or taking on new financial obligations during this period. It is prudent to minimize new debt and maintain low credit card balances while prioritizing liquidity. If you do not have personal credit, consider applying for a credit card and include your spouse's income in the application.

DON'T QUIT YOUR JOB! 

Sometimes individuals believe that quitting their job will give them a tactical advantage. However, if your judge suspects any financial manipulation, this strategy will likely have adverse consequences. It is advisable to maintain your current employment status unless you have a valid and compelling reason to pursue a job change.

GET A CHECKUP. 

This is an opportune moment to assess for any underlying health issues. If you rely on your spouse's health insurance, it is advisable to seek treatment while still covered under their plan.

KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN. 

If you are unsure about your family's financial situation, it would be beneficial to investigate. Obtaining copies of tax returns or other significant documents will greatly assist us in commencing the process. However, if you encounter difficulties in acquiring this information, rest assured that we will be able to obtain the necessary records during the discovery process of the case. 

USE A JOURNAL.

 Document crucial conversations or information as a point of reference for future use. This becomes especially vital in the event of custody disputes. Safeguard the journal in a secure location to prevent your spouse from gaining access.

RUN A CREDIT REPORT ON YOURSELF.

 Ensure you monitor your credit to avoid any unexpected debts that may have slipped under your radar.

BE CAREFULL RECORDING CONVERSATIONS. 

Recording conversations is legal in South Carolina, but it may be illegal in other states. Check your state law before doing so.

STOP USING SOCIAL MEDIA. 

Refrain from sharing anything on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, Instagram, or any other social media platform that may potentially have negative consequences in the future. Although it is legally prohibited to delete information in anticipation of a divorce filing, it is advisable and permissible to deactivate your account.

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