by John Pace
Ending your marriage is not a decision you will make lightly. When your spouse is suffering from severe mental illness, choosing to move forward with a divorce can unleash a plethora of feelings. In some ways, you may be feeling relieved that you can finally start to move forward with your life. In other ways, you may feel guilty, as though you are betraying your spouse in their greatest time of need.
However, you must always make decisions that are not only in your best interest but that of your children as well. Sharing your life with someone who has a mental illness is not easy, and if they have become particularly contentious or disruptive, divorce may be the best decision you make for your family. Working with a compassionate Beaufort divorce lawyer from Fender Law Firm could be the best way for you to proceed with your divorce while protecting yourself from being taken advantage of.
Top Tips for Divorcing Someone Who is Mentally Ill
Divorce involving mental illness can be particularly stressful and sensitive. Not only do you need to look out for yourself and your children, especially as you navigate child custody, but you are also likely concerned about how the divorce will affect your soon-to-be ex. Here are some tips that can help you get through this difficult time in your life:
Educate and Inform Yourself
If you haven't already, now is a good time to learn more about your spouse’s mental health issues. It is important to understand the symptoms of their condition so you are not caught off guard when their actions and behaviors come up throughout your divorce proceedings. When you know what to expect, you may be able to reduce your own anxiety leading up to mediation sessions, court hearings, or your trial date.
Take Care of Your Safety
If your spouse's mental illness could put you or your children in jeopardy, you need to keep yourselves safe. If you have not already changed the locks on your home, now may be a good time to do so, particularly if your spouse has shown signs of aggression or violence. You may even need to work with your family law attorney to take out a restraining order against them.
Consider Your Grounds for Divorce
South Carolina is one of a handful of states that allows for fault-based divorces. Although you can file for divorce with no-fault grounds, fault-based divorces give you an edge, particularly when you are seeking alimony or a larger portion of your marital assets, as South Carolina is an equitable distribution state per South Carolina Code Section 20-3-620.
Trust in the Professionals
Consider working with a psychologist, mental health counselor, or therapist. You may want to get your children into therapy as well to help them cope with their emotions, manage stress, and get through these challenging times.
Envision a Brighter Future
Although divorce is not easy, it is important to think about the bright future your family can look forward to. Work with your children to set realistic goals and focus on the excitement of your new tomorrow instead of dwelling on the past.
Protect Your Children
Remain keenly aware of how your child will be affected by their other parent’s mental illness. Not only do you need to keep your children safe physically, but it is important to be aware of how your child's mental health will be affected.
Create a Healthy Lifestyle
Try to do something by yourself or with your children every day that brings you joy. Start to create a healthy lifestyle by enjoying meals together, taking walks, or even doing something as simple as making your beds when you get up in the morning. If you prioritize healthy living, it will give both you and your children something else to focus on while you navigate the divorce process.
Keep an Eye on Your Spouse’s Mental Health
Just because you and your spouse are divorcing does not mean that you do not care about them anymore. After all, at one point, your spouse was likely the most important person in your life. Although their mental health issues may have driven you to divorce, it is important to remain informed about their condition as it progresses as well.
Prepare for the Emotional and Mental Impact
Your spouse's mental health issues may have led to divorce, so you already know how physically and emotionally draining they can be. However, during the divorce process, things may intensify. Be prepared to remain calm wherever possible and avoid engaging in instigatory behavior.
Do Not Be Afraid to Accept Help
When your friends and family rally around you, do not be afraid to accept their help. Lean on them for emotional support throughout and after the divorce.
Learn About How a Guardian Ad Litem Works
During complex divorce cases, the family courts may find it appropriate to appoint a guardian ad litem per
South Carolina Code Section 63-3-810. If your spouse's mental illness has made it difficult or impossible for them to advocate for their own rights, the guardian ad litem will ensure your spouse's interests are protected.
Hire a Strategic Divorce Lawyer in South Carolina
The legal system is notoriously complex. Divorce involving mental illness raises concerns beyond the simple division of marital property and alimony. With this additional complication, it is almost always in your best interest to work with a skilled family law attorney who can help you protect your rights and cope with your spouse's erratic behavior throughout the divorce process.
Turn to a Reputable and Compassionate South Carolina Divorce Lawyer for Help Today
These are only a few tips that may help you get through one of the most difficult times in your life. The end of your marriage may leave you feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, but hopeful for the future. Now is your opportunity to focus on yourself and your family instead of being held back by your spouse's mental illness and refusal to get the help they need.
Consult a dedicated South Carolina divorce attorney from Fender Law Firm to discuss your next steps. Fill out our confidential contact form or call us to schedule your initial case evaluation as soon as today.